Strategies for coping?

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Strategies for coping?

Post by medleyga on Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:27 pm

This summer I was lucky to be able to take an amazing class about conflict and leadership with Bonnie D. Stroir. She told us about her magic sentence, which I think might help in some bully instances:

She recommends inviting the gossiper or instigator out for beer or coffee to make a neutral territory. As in, "Hey, I'd like to buy you a coffee to talk about something".

Then progress to:
"I feel like by saying x about me, you are trying to hurt me. Did I do something to piss you off?"

The person can reply "No" and stone wall you, but at least you tried. They can reply "No" and realize they were doing something wrong and you then are on the road to fixing it. Or, they can reply "Yes, you pissed me off when you did x" and then you realize where the communication went wrong.

I used it for the first time a few weeks ago - and trust me, I don't do confrontation well, and it was amazing.

Obviously, this is best for stuff that is in the beginning levels and when you feel safe to do so.

medleyga
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Re: Strategies for coping?

Post by Admin on Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:44 am

I learned this too from Bonnie D. Stroir but I didn't see the part where she also said to take 3 days and reflect before taking this path.
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