Being put on probation for emails

Hi.
I moved to a place where there is only one derby league, a little over a year ago. It's a very small league and the girls who started it are still on the board. Anyways, my mother had just passed away and I was coping with a lot of emotional stuff. Derby was my escape.

I always felt like my ideas were not taken seriously. As the season came to a close, we had a break. When we started back up, everything seemed fine. Yet the coaches had a sit down with me about how I was offending people or had a bad attitude. I didn't know how I was offending people, but I know I am distant and keep to myself if I don't feel like people are welcoming to me. At one practice, the coaches had cursed at me and yelled at me for asking about a rule and I got ticked off. I wrote on my blog about it, not mentioning names. I was suspended for a month for publicly shaming the league.

7 months later, no issues or complaints. Everything seemed fine. We were emailing back and forth about a fundraiser coming up and my idea got shut down with no explanation. Someone had said they had suggested it once too, but there was still no explanation. So I wrote how people get their ideas shut down when money isn't going to be raised on the same boring ideas. I was sarcastic in the email, which upset the board member and she publicly posted that how I responded to her was against the code of conduct.

Being that I've been dealt that card before and felt threatened and shamed, I said I will say what I want and if they don't like it, I will no longer be involved.

The next practice, the board had voted that I be put on probation and my next grievance will kick me off the team. Not only that, I was nominated to be voted on to next years board and now my nomination will be taken off because of the probation.

I wrote and appeal saying that I am being bullied.

I admit that I can be sarcastic, but since the suspsension, I have been on good behavior until the sarcastic email.

What do I do?

it's been over 7 months since the suspension.

Hey dude

That sounds rough.

Earlier this year, I made a huge mistake by letting one nasty girl get under my skin. After goading me through a whole scrim and then finally whacking me in the ear as I returned to bench, claim it was an accident then scream in my face that I was fucking bitch, I lost it and grabbed her.

We were both suspended and given a match ban and were told we could both come back if we went through mediation. She refused and went to another league.

At first I thought things would settle down at last- the girl had been a constant thorn in my side after having been my derby wife, finally turning on me after she became jealous of my relationship with our captain.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

The guys on the team were divided in what they thought should have happened. It seems (now) that many thought my retaliation was out of order (despite the way she had pushed me all session) and that I should have been removed. So, when I got a bit negative at our next away game and ended up bickering with our Captain over tactics, people took their opportunity to strike.

I was suspended by committee for 6 months over this tiny crime even though the Captain had spoken to me like shit but it didn't stop there. After, some of the sneaky ones (supposedly my friends) who had decided I should have gone after first incident, put their complaints towards committee, seeing an opportunity to get rid of me for this thing that had happened in the past tha nobody had let me forget. Committee over turned their 6 month suspension and decided to put it to team vote.

Since then, the chair won't return any of my calls, answer texts or emails and I've heard nothing. The secretary, who has been in touch sporadically by email, has refused to tell me what the concerns raised have mentioned or how many they have received so I dont trust a word they are telling me.

I know one girl complained as I managed to get it out of her and she admitted it was because of what happened earlier in the year.

Committee are now trying to tell me that that my attitude has been off for a while, thought nobody ever mention it before. They claim they are bored of micromanaging me, but aside from the disciplinary and this shitstorm, I've not been aware of anything of this nature.

What I'm trying to tell you in a very long winded way, is that once you have upset the people at the top, you have painted a target on your back. I've been it happen to friends in other leagues and nowhere seems to be immune to it. In roller derby, your face either fits or it doest.

You have to make a very difficult decision- as do I. Does the enjoyment you get out of the sport make up for the frustration and the pain that others are causing you? If not, then it may be time to go. I'm fortunate in a way that there are other leagues relatively close by. It's not as easy to get to, and none of them are as advanced as my league but I think its finally come to light that nothing I ever do will be good enough.