Am I being bullied?

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Am I being bullied?

Post by Admin on Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:31 pm


Knowing if your being bullied or not is the first step in protecting yourself and others. After you know if your being bullied or not you can access the situation and determine how best to handle to situation. Before you are able to determine if your being bullied or not you need to know the definition or bullying. Wikipedia defines bullying as “abusive treatment, the use of force or coercion to affect others, particular when habitual and involving an imbalance of power. It may involve verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed persistently towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality or ability.” The “imbalance of power” may be social and/or physical power real and/or perceived.
The are six commonly agreed upon types of bullying that cover social and physical aspects.
Physical Bullying ~ Includes any physical contact that would hurt or injure someone like hitting, kicking, punching, ect. Taking something that belongs to someone else and intentionally destroying it would also be considered physical bullying. For example, punching another skater practice would be a prime example of physical bullying.
Verbal Bullying ~ Is name calling, making offensive remarks, or joking about a person's gender, ethnicity, religion, socioeconomic status, or the way they look. For example talking smack to someone who is poor about how nasty poor people are is verbal bullying.
Indirect Bullying ~ Basically this includes rumors, gossip, and other types of tearing another person down. Indirect bullying accounts for 18.5% of all reported bullying.
Social Alienation ~ When a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose. It includes a bully spreading rumors about someone and also making fun of people by pointing out their differences.
Intimidation ~ A bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make them do what the bully wants.
Cyberbullying ~ Using electronic media such as computers or cellphones for the purposes of scaring, controlling, or changing someone else's behavior. According to a survey done in 2003 this type of bullying represented only 4% of all reported bullying, although due largely to “Cyber-dependance” it is believed that cyberbullying is the most promenante form of bullying now.
Now that you have an understanding for what bullying is by definition and type the next step is to figure out if your specific situation is or is not bullying. Simply put if your situation can be defined by one or several of the types of bullying, your being bullied.
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Re: Am I being bullied?

Post by AnnNonymous on Tue Aug 30, 2011 6:17 pm

Hi all, recently deliberately targeted and battered to the floor from behind whilst exiting the track already injured. This was recent. I am still very angry.
If a skater gets their kicks and feeds their ego with behaviour like this I hope it only proves to everyone what a pathetic person they truly are.
Piece said!
Thanks for listening. x

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Re: Am I being bullied?

Post by Admin on Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:02 pm

Dear AnnNonymous,
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. We love all skaters openly and honestly because this is first and foremost a sport.
Good Luck in the future
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Re: Am I being bullied?

Post by AnnNonym on Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:36 am

It's a shame there is ultimately nothing that can be done about bullies. Awareness is great but doesn't solve anything. As this person was a guest, my captain is powerless. Her captain won't be concerned and there is no official body that she can be reported to.
Ultimately she gets to continue with her aggressive behaviour whilst I am the one who gets to miss out on bouting and guesting opportunities in the future because of my refusal to ever share a track with her again for fear of another assault.

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Womens Derby and Bullies

Post by 2yr vet on Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:49 pm

Ive done a lot of thinking about this topic, and I wonder how in the heck is womens flat track derby going to be respected enough to be televised on ESPN, etc. if there are women playing who are in bullying situations in their leauge or worse, with their own teammates. There is anger, and wanting to give up & quit derby altogether. Too many women have huge egos and end up making rude/hurtful comments to others that are still working on skills. How are teammates supposed to play side by side when there are tensions and distrust from these kind of actions. A team that plays well together has to trust eachother, and if there is no trust then that makes for a loosing team. I see/hear about it too often and its really sad that there are so many players from so many leagues that give all their time and money, & broken bones, concussions etc. for what. A bad derby experience. Yes derby is a rough and tough sport, but that doesnt mean you have to be mean spirited person to play it.

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Re: Am I being bullied?

Post by Admin on Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:25 pm

AnnNonym wrote:It's a shame there is ultimately nothing that can be done about bullies. Awareness is great but doesn't solve anything. As this person was a guest, my captain is powerless. Her captain won't be concerned and there is no official body that she can be reported to.
Ultimately she gets to continue with her aggressive behaviour whilst I am the one who gets to miss out on bouting and guesting opportunities in the future because of my refusal to ever share a track with her again for fear of another assault.

Dear AnnNonym~

There is a possibility that this issue could be worked out through mediation and we are willing to help mediate these types of issues. As a Zebra once told me "The more they flame you, the more others will want you"

<3
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Re: Am I being bullied?

Post by Admin on Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:33 pm

2yr vet wrote:Ive done a lot of thinking about this topic, and I wonder how in the heck is womens flat track derby going to be respected enough to be televised on ESPN, etc. if there are women playing who are in bullying situations in their leauge or worse, with their own teammates. There is anger, and wanting to give up & quit derby altogether. Too many women have huge egos and end up making rude/hurtful comments to others that are still working on skills. How are teammates supposed to play side by side when there are tensions and distrust from these kind of actions. A team that plays well together has to trust eachother, and if there is no trust then that makes for a loosing team. I see/hear about it too often and its really sad that there are so many players from so many leagues that give all their time and money, & broken bones, concussions etc. for what. A bad derby experience. Yes derby is a rough and tough sport, but that doesnt mean you have to be mean spirited person to play it.

Dear 2yr vet~

It made my heart weep to find out what happened to me personally was not an isolated incident, at the same time it made me realize that SO MANY SKATERS are paying dues to be in an 'abusive relationship' for lack of a better phrase. The skaters/leagues that are bullying most of the time are the nicest people/teams there are... For some unknown reason they decided they don't like someone and continually abuse, harass, and bully them. Hopefully this group is respected enough that we can mediate or advise in such a manner that both parties are happy. Blockers not bullies intends to first make people aware of the problem because awareness is the first step to healing!

Derby <3
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What if it's not a girl, but a boy?

Post by A Derby on Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:37 pm

What if a male affiliated with your team where targeting one person (female skater) to the point where every practice something is said (at least once) that other skaters come up to you and mention it? Or that after practice, skaters have to come up and see if you are "OK" because of that person picking on you? I understand every jam is new, so learn from your mistakes and move on to become better. I feel like this particular person has something out for just me.

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Re: Am I being bullied?

Post by Admin on Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:28 am

A Derby wrote:What if a male affiliated with your team where targeting one person (female skater) to the point where every practice something is said (at least once) that other skaters come up to you and mention it? Or that after practice, skaters have to come up and see if you are "OK" because of that person picking on you? I understand every jam is new, so learn from your mistakes and move on to become better. I feel like this particular person has something out for just me.

Dear "A Derby"

Unfortunately it sounds like this person has a personal issue... Shy of knowing what that personal conflict is there isn't much that can be done. It sounds like maybe the team/league should have a vote, to decide if this mans affiliation is worth the problems it is causing on the team.

*~*Personal Opinion*~*
No one on a derby team or any other sports team is more important then the players... Yes coaches and ect are nice to make things 'professional' and run more smoothly, but without players they have nothing to coach and ect.

Derby <3 Love <3
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Re: Am I being bullied?

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