Introduce yourself

Hello, my name is _____

Feel free to introduce yourself here.

Hi! I'm Kyle, the girl.
Also known as Fett's Vette!
I'm a referee with Thunder Bay Roller Derby

Fave position: Jam Ref

Welcome everyone!

Hello, I wish to remain anonymous as my experience of being bullied is very recent. I'm from the UK

It's nice to have this group and realise there are people who understand.

You are more than welcome to private message me, anytime you need dear.
I'm no admin, but I am here to help <3

Thanks for joining and posting.

Feel free to remain anonymous, or use your derby name. It's all up to you and how comfortable you feel.

Hello, I am so glad there are others we have been trough this and I am not alone. You do feel alone at the time. I have left the league where I started and moved to another one. Hopefully this second time will be better.

I wish you the best of luck in switching leagues, unfortunatly it has been my experience that bullys will continue to attack you until you defend yourself. I am not suggesting you verbally assault or attack them, I would suggest reflecting on what takes/took place for with your bully then invite the bully out for a soda/beer your treat. During said soda/beer you could discuss with them how whatever is making you feel, be careful not to come at them in an attacking manner.

Hi, thanks. I have learned from my previous experience and if it happens again I will take a stand. However, I don't feel comfortable in confronting the other person, yet. I agree with you that the way forward should be communication and clarification. That's what I intend to do in my new league.

Hi. I also quit my league from bullying. There is a clique of girls still there, several of whom are on the Board and run the league, so policies were never implemented fairly to everyone. It still pains me to think about it, after being a committee chair myself for years, but being pushed out when I spoke up about following our own rules and guidelines.

It's so frustrating and depressing.

blee13-

I was in your shoes before only I wasn't a board member. The clique managed to keep me off the board until they forced me out. I am happy to hear that you quit instead of letting them kick you off. I personally kept tolerating the bullying and hoping that a change in board members would change things. Unfortunatly the clique kicked me off the team and even threatened to sue me for talking about it. But I quickly discovered I wasn't alone and that I could turn their bullying into gold by helping others handle their situations before it gets that far.


Everyone~

We are currently looking for a moderator to help keep the site alive & always responsive.

<3
Me :~)

I'm not going to use my derby name here (don't have one yet anyway) but a name only a few folk know. I am only a newbie skater just now but plan on sticking with skating.

I've been bullied a lot over the years but thankfully not in my life involving derby (hopefully never am there) but an anti-bullying platform is a wonderful thing and hopefully I'll pick up pointers on how to deal with it elsewhere in life.

Cliques can be horrible things, I know I feel like I've fallen in with a wee group - don't think it's a clique as we all try to be open and I try to talk to most people but get the feeling some of them would rather I wasn't there (no one has said anything and I may be paranoid with my past but there have been a few looks that have made me feel shitty) but I am very new to skating and not picking it up very quickly. It is frustrating at times but there are a lot more folk there who say something encouraging which makes it easier keeping trying.

It is really painful when people stop talking to you, after you have left a league and it seems that you are on the one who's done something wrong. I have lost someone who i thought was a friend. We don't talk to each other any more.
No one likes it when you talk about what happened and why you left. It seems like there is a sort of code of honor and if you break it, you are single out as the person who badmouths the league that everyone else loves. I felt intimidated and afraid to speak out and I could see that other people were afraid to speak out too.I did not want to be part of it anymore!

What does involve and what do you require from a forum moderator. I may be able to help.

<3

BEING A MODERATOR

It's starting off slow, but we expect the site to gather steam and we will need a moderator or 2.

They would be responsible for watching over the site, making sure all the posts are appropriate, and checking on anything flagged.

They would also be responsible with making sure no bullies sneak their way on, and dealing with them swiftly if they do.

They would be required to log in at least once a day and read thru any new posts to make sure it's all running smooth.

If you may be interested, email us at blockersnotbullies at gmail.com

I'm not on here to be nasty or complain, but through some pretty rough personal circumstances a friend of mine and I no longer speak. The manner in which it happened was painful enough, but she turned at least 5 members of our intake against me by telling them thake I was a bully and threatening to beat her up, all of whom removed me from their Facebook and barely speak to me now. It caused me to drop out of derby for a while and I wouldn't have gone back had it not been for a very good woman who has been my rock throughout this. It's sad because now she's moving up the league while I'm out of action at the moment through injury and I'm terrified of passing my mins and even attending bouts because I'm frightened she's spreading these lies to others and that everyone is going to hate me. I know it's childish and I don't ever speak about it to others in the league as I don't want them to judge her by our falling out but it hurts and I get a lot of nasty looks and snide giggles, and she was even tripping me up in pace lines before she passed. It's horrible, but hell will freeze over before I leave the league and friends I love because of her.

Hit_Girl,

There is always time to repair your friendships of the past. I would suggest having a heart to heart conversation with anyone you feel is bullying you. Reflecting on what was said for atleast 3 days and then invite them for a drink where you two can openly and honestly express yourselves. Be wairy not to attack or accuse.

<3
Me~

I tried that and got nothing but abuse, but thanks for the advice. Wish it was as simple as asking what went wrong and why, but it's gone beyond that unfortunately. As for repairing our friendship, to be perfectly honest I doubt I would ever want someone like her as my friend again. I could never trust her again, and that is the most important thing to me. It's sad and horrible, but there's nothing I can do anymore. Sometimes I want to give up and stay at home permenantly. Thanks again.

Always remember to keep your head held high, eventually even the worst people see the error of their ways... For some it does not hit them until they're old & dying, but it always sinks in someday.

My personal favorite realizations happen when the evil doer becomes a victim to a greater evil doer :~)

Thanks xxx

Anytime :~) Just remember you are not alone in this...

Hit_Girl wrote:Thanks xxx

I Play With Saskatoon Roller Derby League And I Am A Blocker



Spanx Givin

Hi my name is Maxi, This is an awesome idea and wish i had found it months ago. I too have been bullied of my chair and league, I started the league with hopes all would take responsibility for their actions this was not the case, $ months after leaving they put a notice at the rink saying I had defrauded the league. It took legal action to stop the harassment. I started another league with juniors am anal about keeping cancer out and 6 months down the track we have over 50 skaters many who have also left that bully league, My advice from this is if you love derby just hang in there I did.

My name here is CatPirate as I don't have a playing name yet (far too new!) But I do feel the Derby group I have joined is amazing and a really positive group. I've been bullied in the past (school, college, work etc) and this is the only time I have felt comfortable with a group of like minded women. I really feel for the girls who are being bulled in their teams and think forum is brilliant!! I hope it grows, not out of need due to bullying, but out the need to prevent and stop this kind of behaviour

Maxi_mum wrote:Hi my name is Maxi, This is an awesome idea and wish i had found it months ago. I too have been bullied of my chair and league, I started the league with hopes all would take responsibility for their actions this was not the case, $ months after leaving they put a notice at the rink saying I had defrauded the league. It took legal action to stop the harassment. I started another league with juniors am anal about keeping cancer out and 6 months down the track we have over 50 skaters many who have also left that bully league, My advice from this is if you love derby just hang in there I did.

I couldn't have said it better myself, Thank You Maxi!

CatPirate wrote:My name here is CatPirate as I don't have a playing name yet (far too new!) But I do feel the Derby group I have joined is amazing and a really positive group. I've been bullied in the past (school, college, work etc) and this is the only time I have felt comfortable with a group of like minded women. I really feel for the girls who are being bulled in their teams and think forum is brilliant!! I hope it grows, not out of need due to bullying, but out the need to prevent and stop this kind of behaviour

CatPirate,

I felt the same way about my league before the "bullying" began... It really makes me smile to see others completely happy within their derby league. Thank You for sharing!

Hi everyone!
It's both sad and comforting that I'm not alone. So glad someone has created a safe place for venting on this issue. I have been bullied since I started playing derby. It's very upsetting to me that a sport that is supposed to be empowering to women is full of some really abusive and mean people! I am in the process of switching leagues as a result. Since my situation is current I have chosen to go by FancyPants, which is NOT my derby name... Just in case anyone is actually using it. Nice meeting everyone. Think this would be a great way to start an online support group so we can encourage each other!
FancyPants